Guilt Trip
by pbandfluff
Summary: Nessa had as many regrets as her sister did. How she wishes her actions would have led to happiness...


Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Ok, don't ask me where this came from. Honestly. There was just a cannibalistic plot bunny hovering over my shoulder and this came out of that experience. I know some of it may be confusing, so any constructive criticism to fix that would be helpful. Some of the characters aren't identifiable until their names are spoken, but the few whose names aren't said are up to the reader's imagination as to whom they are. I think this was my attempt to render Nessarose in a softer light and to give the story a definite, but melancholy, happy ending. Some of the elements are from the book and some are from the musical. My first attempt at a booksical. Hmm. (Shrugs) Take from it what you like; it's up to your interpretation. The title is from the fact that most of the story is regret and guilt over things that were caused by inadvertant actions. If it so moves you and you want to use this in something else just drop a line or give credit where due. Not that it would ever happen, but… (Shrugs again) Whatever. Here it is, my child of boredom…

* * *

When asked about her sister, Nessarose Thropp would quite often shrug off the topic and change the direction of the conversation.

When asked about her sister and her roommate Galinda Upland, Nessarose would pause slightly and answer in the simplest of terms that they were just friends.

Every time, the person on the other side of the conversation would wonder what flitted through the younger Thropp's mind in the few seconds she was silent.

Years after Shiz, when Elphaba was missing, Nessarose would remember the moment that she realized her sister and her roommate were something more than just friends.

* * *

It had been a bad day for Nessa. She couldn't find her favorite shawl, Nanny was in a foul mood, and the staring had never been greater than when she rolled into class that morning. To put it shortly, Nessa was pissed and was looking for her sister to take it out on.

She had tried her room, Elphaba's room, the cafeteria, the library; she had even gone over to the boy's dorms thinking they could be studying. But neither Elphaba nor Galinda were anywhere to be found. It was as she was crossing the courtyard when she heard the giggling. Galinda!

She had wheeled her way over, careful to keep quiet. Her way was blocked by some dense bushes and trees, so she attempted to push them out of the way. She managed to grab hold of the first layer, but the bigger branches refused to move. As she struggled she heard the giggling again and decided to resign herself to taking a peek through the gaps. She was startled by what she saw.

She had wholeheartedly expected to see Galinda in the embrace or presence of some young man from the other dormitories, and was quite shocked to find her sprawled on a blanket with her sister. Her sister of all people! But what made Nessa's stomach roll and her eyes widen was the "compromising" position her sister and Galinda were in. Compromising was the understatement of the century! Lurline, this was going to be hard to explain away. Get your minds out of the gutter, they weren't doing _that_! It was just, well, when your sister lays _that_ close to her roommate, you know something's going on. As Nessa tilted her head to see better, she thought that the scene was quite cute once you got past the fact that it was her sister and Galinda.

Said sister was dangling a small white flower over Galinda's nose, causing the Gilikinese girl to giggle and sneeze in delight. Normally this wouldn't have raised anyone's radars to the level that Nessa's was at, but the look of sheer joy on the face of Elphaba as she gazed down at her roommate left no doubt that for one of the two, this was no friendly horseplay.

Galinda finally pushed Elphaba's arm out of the way and tried to catch her breath. She spoke, but Nessa couldn't hear the words exchanged between the two. Elphaba threw her head back and cackled while Galinda watched, captivated. When Elphaba calmed down, she stared, confused, at Galinda.

Galinda reached up and carefully fingered a strand of hair that had come loose from Elphaba's trademark braid. She moved to her face and stroked Elphaba's cheek with sudden tenderness. Elphaba laid there, propped up on an elbow, as if she had been made a statue.

As Galinda's fingers continued, Elphaba's hand slowly came up to gently grasp Galinda's and hold it in midair. She whispered something to Galinda and leaned in toward her. Nessa started to panic; she would not watch this happen, no matter how romantic it was! She hastily let go of the branches and wheeled away as fast as she could toward her room.

* * *

"Elphie?"

"Mmm?"

"Did you hear something?"

"Like what?"

"I thought I heard someone outside the trees."

"The only people who can see us are those who can magic away the invisibility spell I put up. Only Morrible could do that. And she doesn't care where we are. So don't worry my sweet, we're safe."

"Oh Elphie, I'm so sorry."

"For what my pretty?"

"For all the things I did to you! All the times I laughed at you when you were hurting, all the pranks I helped with, everything!"

"I could never be mad at you Galinda, you know that, right?"

"Yes Elphie, I know, but…"

"But what?"

"You're just too good for me."

"Galinda, if anything, you're too good for me. Now shut up and kiss me."

"Yes your Eminent Throppness."

"Oh, shut up you great big ball of pink fluff."

"You know you love me."

"Alas, an argument I can't win."

"Elphie, you know that I do love you, right?"

"Yes, Galinda, I know."

"Elphie are you sure no one is out there?"

"Yes I'm sure. Morrible is in town today, and the only other person who shows any promise of magic is Nessa. And if she had found us, no doubt she would have stormed in on us. There's no need to worry. Our secret is safe."

* * *

"Are you sure she has no weaknesses? No secrets she keeps hidden?"

"Well…"

"Yes? What is it?"

"It's just, well; when we were at Shiz I caught her and Galinda. Together. In a romantic way."

"Oh my."

"I think they were in love. Or at least Elphaba loved Galinda. Loves I think would be the right word. If Galinda betrays her, Elphaba would have nothing left except for me. Madame Morrible, why do you want to know her secrets?"

"The Wizard thinks that Elphaba could be a threat to Oz if this continues. Any information we can gather could be a help later on. But I don't believe it will come to that Miss Thropp. Thank you."

"Give the shoes to the Dorothy girl."

"What?!"

"Give the shoes to Dorothy."

"But those were Nessa's shoes! They belong to Elphaba! I can't just give them to Dorothy!"

"If the Witch gets a hold of those shoes, who knows what she could do with the power!"

"Madame Morrible, they were her sister's shoes for the love of Oz! All she wants is something to remember her sister by! I won't betray her like that!"

"You will give the shoes to Dorothy, or not only will I have the Gale Force kill the Witch, but Fiyero will die as well."

"You wouldn't!"

"I would and I will if you refuse to comply."

There was a pause.

"Well? Will you do it?"

A slight shift.

"Can you promise that she'll be safe?"

"Dorothy? Yes, yes, she'll be fine. I must go now, the Wizard needs me."

A deafening silence.

"…I was talking about Elphaba…"

* * *

"Glinda, how could you?!"

"I didn't have a choice!"

"Those were Nessa's shoes! Nessa's! That was all I had left of her!"

"I didn't have a choice Elphie!"

"Don't call me that! That naïve little girl died on that trip to the Emerald City! And your precious Elphaba died right along with Nessarose! I'm the Wicked Witch of the West now!"

"Elphaba, it's complicated…"

"Like you and me were complicated?"

"Elphaba, it's not like that…"

"I hate you."

"What?"

"I hate you. I hate your voice, I hate your smile, I hate all the dresses you wear. I hate everything about you and I am eternally sorry that I ever called you mine. I am disgusted that I ever gave my heart to you. I hope you die alone and miserable."

"Elphaba, you don't mean that…"

"I do. I love Fiyero and he loves me. And he's not ashamed of it. Unlike you were."

"Elphaba I-"

"Don't try and give excuses. It won't work. We are opposites now; you're my enemy. I hope we never have to see each other again. Goodbye."

A long stare as she walked away.

"…I never stopped loving you Elphaba…"

* * *

"_Glinda…"_

"Leave me alone."

"_Glinda…"_

"GO AWAY!"

"_Please…"_

"Nessa?!"

"_Glinda… I'm sorry…"_

"Nessa, how-"

"_I told Morrible about you and Elphaba…"_

"You what?!"

"_Morrible killed me to make you betray Elphaba… Please…"_

"Please what?"

"_Help Elphaba… I know you still love her…"_

"I can't. She hates me."

"_Try… Just try…"_

"Nessa…"

"_Goodbye…"_

"Nessa, wait! Don't go! Nessa! Nessa… I'll try. I promise I'll try."

* * *

"Elphie! No, Elphie! Oz, no, no! Not Elphie! NOT MY ELPHIE! NO! ELPHABA!"

Disbelief.

"…No…"

Grief.

"I tried Nessa. I really tried. I never told her how much I loved her. How much I still-"

A choked sob.

"I love you Elphaba Thropp. No matter whether or not you loved me at- at the end…"

Determination.

"I swear I will try with everything I have to be the person you thought I could be. I will keep the Grimmerie safe, I will make the Wizard leave, I will throw Morrible in the deepest, darkest cell I can find, I swear!"

Reminiscence.

"You know, there was someone that day in the clearing. It was Nessa. Nessa was the one who found us that day. She told Morrible about us and Morrible used that to manipulate me into giving the shoes to Dorothy. I was so stupid. I should have refused. But it's just; she wanted to kill you and Fiyero! Boq was already gone, there was no use trying to convince him to help me. Who else did I have besides you and Fiyero? I wanted to tell you that day at Nessa's grave, but you wouldn't let me. And when I heard what you said, all those things about how you hated me, I couldn't tell you. I didn't think you would believe me. So I am sorry. I am sorry that I am a coward and a liar and a backstabbing woman who loves you."

* * *

"Fiyero, I can't leave her. Not like this."

"Fae, I thought you hated her?"

"But you heard her; she didn't mean to do it! She was forced!"

"Don't you love me?"

"Fiyero I-"

"You're dead the moment you stick your head out that trap door, you know that?"

"Yes, but-"

"But what? What good are you to her dead? Wouldn't you rather she lives her life accepting this death than to see you really die with her own two eyes?"

"Maybe… Maybe this is the only way…"

"Come on. We have to go."

One last look.

"…Good bye Glinda…"

* * *

"Lady Glinda?"

"Yes?"

"There's a letter for you from the Vinkus."

"Just set it here on my desk. Thank you."

Silence for the letter.

_Glinda,_

_I write this to you worried out of my mind. Elphaba has left the castle and I can't find her anywhere. Yes, we did escape at the last minute. We, Elphaba and I, are both alive and well. But Elphaba left to fly a few days ago and hasn't come back. Her crystal ball shows nothing, my guards can't find her, and my contacts in the other parts of Oz haven't seen her either. Something tells me that she'll be headed your way. I have to tell you Glinda, it was so painful to see the look on her face as we listened to you under the trapdoor that day. She never forgave herself for causing you so much pain. And, I think, she never stopped loving you. I'll admit it, she never loved me truly. She told me herself. But I had to keep her safe, and this castle was the only place to do it. Please tell her that I will always cherish the time we had. She will always hold a place in my heart, as will you. Please keep our secret safe, if not for mine, then for Elphaba's sake._

_Love,_

_Fiyero_

Shock.

"Fiyero… Elphaba… My Elphie…"

* * *

"It's all my fault!"

"Nessarose, you couldn't have helped it any more than you already have. Sometimes we just can't change what happens."

"But it was my fault! If I had just kept my mouth shut then-"

"Then you would have told someone else at an even worse time. What happened was inevitable; you did everything you could have."

"But it's not fair, they deserved to be happy! They would have been great rulers. They were so in love, it was perfect at the beginning. Where did it go wrong?"

"Sometimes even the best things fade after time."

"No, this wouldn't have faded. It would have only gotten stronger."

"Are you saying you would have accepted them?"

"In a way, yes. I would have been happy that they were together, even if I was taught that it was immoral. Love like that knows no limits."

"She would have been proud of you."

"Are you proud of her?"

"Yes. Even if I never told her, I was always proud of her. She was my little girl, my Fabala. I wish… Well, I wish things would have been different between the two of us."

"…"

"Is it really over?"

"No. They'll be together here, forever. The end for both of them is fast approaching. Fabala is making her way here as we speak and Glinda is not far after her. You just have to have some patience."

"So soon? What caused it?"

"Guilt and pain. People do horrific things when weapons are within their grasp."

"Wait, I hear someone. Is that…"

"Yes, it is them."

* * *

"Glinda?"

"Oz, will it never stop? Even after life I hear her voice. Wasn't my life punishment enough? Wasn't all the pain and regret enough for you?"

"Glinda it's me, Elphaba."

"…Elphie?"

"It's me Glinda. I'm right here."

"But I… Why are you…? You didn't…"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"But you didn't… I wouldn't think… Why?"

"Because I hurt the one person who ever truly loved me for me. I caused you so much pain and suffering. And one day I woke up and didn't want to have to live knowing that you hurt that much. I heard what you said the day I died. And I wanted nothing more than to sweep you into my arms and tell you everything was going to be okay. But Fiyero held me back. Every day I was slowing but surely killing myself by staying in that Oz-forsaken castle. So when I went flying and a gust of wind sent me hurtling into a lake, I didn't try to stop it."

"Oh Elphie…"

"How did you…?"

"It was easier than I thought. It's amazing how many people believe that you just accidentally fall off your balcony."

"You fell off your balcony?!"

"Well, jumped would be the more proper word for it. Plummeted five stories straight into the courtyard. The fall was exhilarating, the most emotion I had felt since you left."

"So where are we?"

"I thought you knew where we were!"

"I'm as clueless as you are."

"You're in the Other Realm."

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

"She's dead."

"Nessa?"

"You're getting a chance to gain back the happiness you lost in life Elphaba. That's why we're here. That's why Glinda's here."

"Fabala, this a chance to make amends. This is your chance to be happy. Forever."

"What about Boq, or Fiyero, or Chistery?"

"In due time they will all join you here. Each in their lives earned a chance to be eternally happy."

"Welcome home Elphaba, welcome home…"

* * *

"…And they say that there the two witches stayed, eternally blissful, surrounded by their friends and family."

"And did they ever come out?"

"Not yet…"


End file.
